Sunday, February 03, 2008


last week mansuetude gave me a you make my day award.

"You make my day-Award" works like this:
1. Write a post with links to 5 blogs that make me think and/or make my day.
2. Acknowledge the post of the award giver.
3. Display the "You Make my Day Award" logo with a link to the post that I wrote. (Optional)
4. Tell the award winners that they have won by commenting on their blogs with the news

Which is very nice - and I've been thinking about it ever since. Actually that's the reason why I didn't post anything on Friday. Because I'm really against all form of chain letters.

By principle I hate being forced (very often by people I like) to pass something on just to be nice - even if I don't want to. So - I'm the one who never passes it on. Even If I'm declared an Angel by someone I like (are you reading this?) and I am supposed to pass it on. So my friends have learned not to send me those kind of things in e-mails. (And I never read the funny stories people forward to me and 100 other people (not that it's really the same) - I delete it without reading it. Always). But this being a blog is a bit different - I understand that these awards can work for spreading the word about each other - so maybe I should collaborate? Do I want to lose readers?

I don't read that many blogs. Most of the ones I read have all been getting this award - and nicely followed the instructions. So I don't want to pass it on to them - again. Being asked which are my favorite blogs, in a more personal way, would have been different. Or invited to do something. It's the passing on I don't like. (and kind of feeling forced) It's not spontaneous. Mansuetude - I really like your reoccurring comments: long and personal. I'll compromise. 5 links to blogs:

Camilla - my first good blog encounter. and still the one
Bibbi - another side of my Cultural Göteborg. personal
Sandra - like her illustrations. Fun to see her view of what she and Camilla does
Stef - nice with drawings and not to many words
Lars Wilks - heavier. and not.

but I'm not passing it on. I'll just tell them (comment) something nice when it comes naturally instead.


Bibbi said...

Haha, tack så mycket! Jag vidarebefordrar nästan aldrig heller mejl, de ställer till så mycket besvär i servrar och huvudbry hos mottagare. De här taggarna får vara som en rolig lek, och så ger de nya ingångar till bloggar i världen, det är kul.

Camilla Engman said...

Tackar :)
Jag är likadan, vidarebefodrar aldrig. Blir nästan sur när folk mailar kedjebrev. En gång fick jag ett kedje sms från min kära mor, som sa - skickar du inte vidare detta kommer det att hända dej ngt hemskt...!?

Sedan att säja vilka bloggar man gillar tycker jag alltid är så svårt, för det är ju så många.

sandra said...

tack så mycket! taggar är kul ibland, den här var väldigt svår dock (eller så är det jag som är lat).

mansuetude said...

Wow! A revolt.
I learn so much from blogging, and this post. I visit your blog because I studied women's voice and patterns of women in story in graduate school--so your work is all about women and so it interest me.

I see your revolt as a woman's text--as a woman arguing with herself outloud (i did this privately with my own heart regarding tags, too: i don't play games much ever) =

The "revolt" stems from a traditional issue for women all over the world. To say "NO" is hard for us at times--we argue and negotiate with our own inner voices. Our desire to say no (a truly simple thing) often turns into an angry (or as you say, a "compromis" we do out of duty or fear of hurting others...of something that we don't really want to do but oblige! Women all over the world do this; make themselves ill.

If (and when) we are no longer afraid to say NO! We just say no.

But, to just say NO (for women in every culture)becomes a debate inside: we worry what if we lose something: lose "comments" or "readers" or a "job" or a "Lover" or any kind of "Relationship" in our lives? So we negotiate and say Yes and we don't like it (and get pissed off).

When there is not this struggle, there is no need to revolt--we just say no, don't waste our time and energy. Its nothing.

Women live with this same stupid pattern in so many aspects of their lives. Think about it. It is not just an issue over a little tag. Its ingrained in so many women at young ages, and i think your work deals with this, too. Hope this translates.:)

Alexandra Hedberg said...

mansuetude - I've actually been tagged before and just ignored it because I didn't want to play that specific game. Without any inner argument (!). My first instinct was to do the same thing this time - BUT:
1. You always give me nice and personal comments.
2. I wandered if everyone else found it fantastic to be tagged (bibbi's tag was more "open" and didn't bother me.) - I wanted to create a "debate".
3. I was thinking about that everyone tagging and forwarding were women... (in Sweden 75% of bloggers are women) and it's getting all very personal and friendly. I've ignored tags before because I've been considering this blog as part of my "art business" - not a personal diary... Lars Wilks (the last blog I listed) is a man in his 50's and important in the Swedish cultural/art debate - I'm sure he would just have ignored me if I had tagged him (maybe I should test it?).

My aunt is a feminist (specialized in China) and I've been "resisting" feminism for a long time. But growing older I realize that things are not the way I thought they were...

Alexandra Hedberg said...

mansuetude - one more thing. Sometimes I think it's very good that women do have inner arguments. It's about being considerate and not just thinking about yourself, but thinking about the results of your actions. The world would be a better place if people were more considerate! But you should of course not feel guilty ... just analyse why and what you do - and maybe explain it?

mansuetude said...

I'm glad for this whole dialogue. What i am talking about (and studied)isn't feminism--its about how women lose themselves under a pile of "false Yes's" until they build, not a life, but a puppet who lives a gap (far far away) from the true essence of their true soulfullness, their true gifts, their voice, their love.

When we act authentically, or learn to notice this argument, there is no "angst" or anger; we decide in bodily peace. Think about how you felt the day and day after you got tagged; emotionally and in your body.? Honestly, at war (revolt) or as Diana did on her blog (drew a photo of punch in the face and cornered)>. We feel "hi-jacked" sometimes.

But think about it, you will not bump into me in a coffee shop in town, nor will you have to deal with me to succeed in your work. I am like a spiderweb threaded across a continent, cities, millions of people and an ocean: meaningless in so many ways--except for a few words. Still, a "tag" becomes a ripple in our whole self.

Its really a fascinating happening. Its better than art--its real. Its what happens to women; we are not in grade school playing little games any more--and yet...

I agree about being able to argue within yourself! YES! the more we do these kinds of things the better it gets--to get to the core of our own desire. But to argue against yourself and become "agitated" "revolt=ing" "angry" "resentful" whatever--we really are at "war" with our own selves.

When we are really peaceful we can really, really begin to be compassionate--I mean we live in our inner intuitive link to others, and we act properly; without ever sending out that frustrated vibe (or wasting our own energy) (or others' energry cleaning up misunderstandings). We become right in our action, and it happens on the level of intuition, we feel it. We trust each other, we know there is deep consideration and not false action.

I think your work is sensitive enough and about women enough, that talking about what you are thinking when you paint will help us viewers. Like those letters from Van goth... they are so important .

I could go on! But this is a lot. Wish this were a full post, and not hidden down here. The world would be so much more peaceful if one or two women lived closer to not saying Yes with animosity.

Don't you feel better? I do.

Anonymous said...